Today is Remy Ma's birthday. Happy Birthday Rem! She is one of my good friends and today I will be thinking of her and wishing her well and a speedy appeal. I hate that she is in prison today and doesn't deserve to be.
As something special for all her fans she has released a portion of her unreleased single "I'm the Queen". I have posted this on my site in celebration of her birthday and amazing talent. The first minute is her special message to all her fans straight from prison so be sure to listen to her freestyle. She truly is the QUEEN.
I've been a bit slacking in my posting this week. The reason why- well, I've been inundated with things to do.
My family was recently (1 week ago) the victim of a Ponzi scheme. My grandparents, uncle and stepfather have lost their entire life savings. Here is a link to the news article:
Like a number of Ponzi schemes, this business started out as a legitimate company. The owner, John Otto, purchased leases from American Express and made a great deal of money on the interest of these loans and passed them on to his clients. Unfortunately, American Express stopped doing leases in 2003 and rather than change his business operadum, he kept right on going - offering his clients new leases and acting as if all was ok.
It wasn't. He committed suicide a week ago after the Feds started investigated. To me, it looked more like a hit because he supposedly killed himself in his car in a car parking lot. I mean, if your going to kill yourself don't you do that at home?
Anyhow, my family had 99% of their assets with this man. He targeted elderly clients who wanted a secured interest rate. What he did is despicable and now there are hundreds of people (already retired) who cannot afford to pay their mortgages or for their much needed medications.
Obviously, as we have learned from Bernie Maddof, this is not uncommon. I hope this illustrated an immense need for better governing of these investment advisors. How much money and how long can they get away with their crimes before we do something about it?
No, of course, we would rather invest millions and investigate someone like me who committed a victimless crime rather than protect our parent's and grandparents future. What is wrong with our society that we place more value on my crime than protecting the welfare of our loved ones?
We strongly need to invest in a better governing body than the SEC. The feds need to redirect their investigations to crimes where there are victims and allocate resources accordingly.
Today is Memorial Day - a holiday in which we commemorate the members of our armed services those hurt or killed in action. As I sit here enjoying the day, I have to stop and take a moment to remember those who fought for our freedom and continue to do so. Today is for them.
Last year for this holiday I was in Riker's Island. It was hot and my cell was a humid 95 degrees. I was sad, alone and miserable. At that time I had been in jail for over 2 months with no idea when I was getting out. My friends were all gone and I really had no one. My then boyfriend was out partying with his friends and didn't pick up his phone when I called. I was hysterical sitting there wondering if I would have a life when I got out. I don't think I have ever felt more alone.
Now today I am enjoying the day, the people who I share my life with because they are all amazing. I get to look out at the ocean and see a world of possibilities and all the wonderful things that are now happening in my life. It only took a horrible experience to rid me of my demons and allow me to finally move forward and experience the good things. And I am very grateful to be able to do so.
For all of you reading this, happy Memorial Day. Try to spend today with those you love and are deserving of your time. I am :)
Yesterday I was on the treadmill watching the local news when it showed a picture of a woman I knew....Janet Redmond-Mercereau.
This is the Staten Island woman who was on trail for murdering her husband, an NYFD marshall while their 2 young children slept. She was convicted by a jury yesterday after 2 yrs fighting her case from Riker's Island. She is facing 40+ years in prison.
This woman was someone I spoke to regularly. At one point I was in general population (for 2 days) and she was the only person I would really talk to. GP is racially segregated and we were the only 2 white people so we ended up spending alot of time together. There was alot of pressure for me to choose a side (latin or black) so rather than choose I preferred to be alone.
She told me about her case (said she was innocent), her children, her husband, her time as a school teacher. I watched as she read her children stories every night from the phone on the wall and cried daily. I don't know if she did it or not. It is not my place to judge.
Another woman I was in jail with was Nizelie Santiago. She was convicted of manslaughter of her daughter when her husband beat her to death and they left her sitting there for 1 day. She got 40 years in prison and is now in Bedford Hills with Remy.
As I sat there on the treadmill, I got very upset. These are the types of criminals I was in jail with. Me- little old promoting prositution charge (class D felony-these are class A)....a victimless crime was sitting there befriending murderers. When I think about it, it makes me sick that our society would classify my crime in the same manner as theirs. My crime which happens to be legal in 2 states yet just not the one I was operating in.
I sat there day in and day out surrounded by baby and husband killers. These are people who confided in me about their cases and the people I LIVED with every day. Can you imagine that? That your new friends (after your old ones snithced you out) are a bunch of murderers?? The severity of that sort of mental anguish is something you probably can't understand. And I hope you never have to.
I'm writing this to point out the hypocrisy of our system. That me, a former madam, with a promoting prostitution charge was classified in the same manner as a murderer. That is ridiculous. And there sits Elliot Spitzer in his plush Park Avenue apartment with NUMEROUS pending felonies in the Class C category (worse than mine) and he gets away scott-free. I'd like for us to address why there is a different set of rules for the elite and connected then there are for those of us who worked our way up from nothing???
Yesterday I went to my court ordered therapy (mandatory as part of probation) and upon entrance to the building, this guy stopped me at the elevator with "excuse me miss". I assumed I had dropped something and said "yes"....he said I just wanted to tell you that you looked nice today. I continued walking into the elevator, thanked him and pushed the button for 3rd floor.
Unfortunately, he stood half way in/half way out of the elevator. He wouldn't let the door closed and proceeded to ask me if we could be friends. I said I have a boyfriend and that would not be appropriate. Ok, I lied but I figured he would leave. He kept right on asking.
I finally said, I need to go upstairs so please move so I can make my appointment or I will be in big trouble for being late. Rather than get out of the elevator, he got in and rode up with me. He kept asking if he could have my number or if I would take his.
Finally after this question being asked 15 times (its a slow elevator) I said - why do you want to give someone your number who obviously doesn't want it? I said I have a boyfriend - you wouldn't want your girlfriend out there giving out her number would you? He didn't know what to say and asked again- idiot! I then said hey look I'm going to court ordered therapy - can you leave me alone?
The door opened and I got out for my appointment. About 5 minutes into my therapy session, the owner came in and said "my friend" came in looking for me. I said huh? She said that he came in asking for his friend - but didn't know his friends name. She had to barracade the hallway to get him to back off and go away. He had written his phone number down on a napkin and gave it to her.
The situation gets wierder- the owner recognized him from a program across the street- for stalkers!!!! So she called over and he was indeed in the program and had been arrested for stalking someone (s). Goodness!
After the session, they walked me to where I was going to make sure he wasn't waiting. What is wrong with people nowadays?
Today I had to go to the Queen's courthouse. Its been over 1 year since I was arrested and still the site of a courthouse makes me
nauseous. I think of those times sitting on the bus from Riker's, having to get up at 4:30am to be shuffled around in handcuffs to get on a 8am bus and all of the other inmates fighting, the whole thing just makes me ill.
I wish I never had to go to court again. Somehow, its a never-ending saga. I have tax court, and now civil court. This time however, I am the plaintiff- not the defendent. Part of my empowerment to rectify some of the injustices that occured while I was in jail. What people don't realize is that when your in jail - your entire life is in someone else's hands, you are at the mercy of other people because you cannot do anything for yourself. You get a whopping 21 minutes of phone time, twice a day, and you can't even begin to pay your bills and talk to your attorney with that piddly little amount of time.
While I am a smart business woman- I put my trust in numerous untrustworthy people. One of whom was a person I thought I loved. This person spent tens of thousands of dollars on credit cards while I was in jail. I added it up - he visited me roughly 14 times. He spent roughly $35k on my amex alone. That would mean he was making $2,500 per hour- most of my best girls didn't even make that much! And his visits were not worth it, I'd have rather sat there and rotted alone than have to pay for someone's love.
The other one- well my former attorney is a piece of work. He stole from my mother and left me to rot there in jail while he filed ridiculous motions he knew had no chance of winning and vacationed in St. Tropez. Gotta love that one. At least he had a nice tan in court. It was a big joke at the courthouse when after another failed motion, I would request to see him- they would say "sorry, he is out giving his press conference" and laugh....
I'm quite lucky now to have a few trustworthy people in my life. My mother- mom I love you! And my attorney Dan Hochheiser www.hochheiser.com. Without the 2 of them, I'd be lost.
Ohh and back to civil court, well I'm there now and it will be a long process. But today wasn't nearly as bad as last year. And I made a new friend at the courthouse!
Thought I would take a moment to talk about legalization. This is a subject I have and always will feel strong about.
I know this may offend some people. I know there are some people out there who feel like we should abolish prostitution. I'd like to state that prostitution is the OLDEST profession in the world- its not going away. No matter what sentence you impose on it, its not going away. I think is time we start to think of it as part of our society (which it is) and look for ways to tax it and regulate it.
I strongly feel like its a woman's choice what to do with her body. Whether that means sell it or give it away - its her choice, not the governments. If we have such a problem with prostitution then why don't we treat it like drug addiction and provide programs for these girls rather than arrest them?
Having spent a few months in jail, I saw so many drug addicts working the system. They would purposely take methodone upon entrance into Rikers so that their urine would test dirty. Half of these girls were presently clean. But they know if they claim to be a drug addict and their urine test supports that, then they will get a drug program rather than do jail time. So tell me -how are we really helping these women? We aren't. They are working the system.
But we have the opportunity to help sex workers. And hasn't the Craigslist killer taught us anything? Busting me did nothing to curb the industry. My girls (some of whom I've kept in touch with and have told me) are now working as independents. They are more scared of getting busted than they are of protecting their own safety. Angencies are too hott right now one of them said - and they treat us like crap, no one was a s nice as you- they told me.
So now they are working independently which means alone. Who is watching out for their safety? no one!!!! And one of them was just killed by Phillip Markoff-the craigslist murderer. This could have been avoided had the industry had regulations and the girls were working in an environment where there was a manager watching over them (like at my locations). Itsn't it time we start acknowledging this problem won't go away and start valuing the lives of these girls?
I could go on a rant on here but I won't. I have considered sex workers my friends for years. I ran a business and got to know and love many of them. The girls that worked for me were great girls. Some were models, actresses, college coeds - all trying to make a better life for themselves. They were hard luck cases who chose this profession as a means to getting their life back on track. They weren't forced and I often sat down with the ones coming from bad situations and put in place a plan to get them out of their bad situation. I truly truly cared about each and every one of them. Thats the type of boss you want.
The indsutry is riddled with problems. These girls need a way out of this profession much like a drug addict. They need job training, support and counseling. I have spent the last month racking my brain to figure out a way to help and get this issue heard. Initially, I wanted to set up a link to petition a senator on Julissa's Brissmans behalf. I think I have come up with another, better, idea so please check back in here as I'm presently working on it!
For the record, I also feel marijuana should be legalized. No - I don't smoke pot. I don't do any drugs nor do I drink. I just feel like medicinal marijuana is needed for those in pain. And again, I do not think the government has the right to control what we do with our bodies. Marijuana is a natural, herbal rememdy and its not going away either.
We should legalize and tax both prostitution and marijuana and then maybe we can pull ourselves out of this recession.
I seemed to have missed this one. My friend Roger Stone had my back here. For those of you that don't know who he is...you should. He is a political strategist, political operative and has been referred to as "the most powerful man in politics". www.stonezone.com. Roger is also the man who went toe-to-toe with Spitzer and brought him down. I unfortunately was collateral damage.
Roger is now a friend of mine. It pays to have friends like this- just look at how he had my back here :)
ROGER Stone, who's inordinately proud of how he ratted out Eliot Spitzer to the FBI as a "john," recently interviewed Kristin "Billie" Davis, who's hawking her memoir, "Manhattan Madam," on Sirius/XM radio. "Her photos don't do her justice," said Stone, who thinks it's unfair Davis served time on Rikers Island while Spitzer went back to his Park Avenue apartment. "She indicated she had additional information regarding Spitzer and wanted to get it out if the Steamroller attempts a 2010 comeback," Stone told Page Six. "I valiantly volunteered to help her."
Ok so I don't say this nearly as well as E40...yes, this is an E40 song. Ambassador of the Game since he is Ambassador of the Yay (Bay Area SF is frequently referred to as the yay area). Yes I support my local East Coast and beloved West Coast rappers. And heck I am Ambassador of the Game!
I have a fair amount of haters - haters being defined as those hatin' on your for what your doing which is usually better than them. And altho I write about alot of things on my blog that can seem depressing such as jail, snitches and screwovers - I'm actually doing AMAZING.
I am happier than I have been in a LONG LONG time. Despite going thru jail, I have gotten rid of all of the trash in my life. Can you imagine? Really knowing who your true friends are and getting rid of the ones who were secretly screwing you over behind your back. That in itself is power- it's the power of knowing the truth about people and its priceless.
Plus I have a best-selling book and am enjoying the experiences I am having. Just today I met with the Head of Lifetime. I mean the head of lifetime. Plus I went with a super famous film agent (my agent) and the Head of Dick Clark Productions who both have my back. I pitched the Lifetime woman who was absolutely fascinated by my story and had a GREAT meeting. I am honored just to have that experience and to have the opportunity to share myself and to meet these people.
Then, I met with the CEO of a Major Production Network who LOVED my reality show ideas. Most people pitching ideas meet with development people but this is the CEO. Who was great! Again, I feel honored just to be able to meet these people and to have them be interested in what I have to say. Its a blessing and don't think for one minute I don't appreciate it.
I am working on other projects and writing my 2nd book. I've started writing for Penthouse as well and my next article is due out in August. I'm also DJ'ing which I love and just signed to a DJ Management Company which I will be announcing quite soon.
And I am single and LOVING IT! I date (altho some are not completely honest) but I'm relishing the experience. I'm so so so happy to be out of an abusive relationship and to be around people who adore me and want to lavish me with attention. Its really where I want to be - single, exploring my options and dating people who have something going for them.
So actually I'm doing GREAT - even if I do tend to vent a bit about the past...I'm not holding onto it at all. I've left the bad behind and am not looking back.
A girlfriend and I were just talking about our dating experiences when I started reminiscing upon the old fairytale.
How many frogs must a girl kiss to find Prince Charming? All of us girls were raised thinking if we believed in the frog, that poor little underappreciated mistreated frog who wanted so much to be with us, and we kissed him-he would turn into the man of our dreams, Prince Charming.
What no one told us was that there are many frogs out there. Many frogs masquerading as Princes but at the end of the day, they are just a plain old frogs. These frogs are charming, they will lie, manipulate and play on our dreams to get us but they are not ever going to turn into a prince.
This is what I like to call the Prince Charming Syndrome. These are the guys who tell you everything you want to hear, they seem so sweet and into you, they do all sort of things for you- but they are really just a frog in Prince's clothing.
I have known many a frog. They tell you that you are the most gorgeous woman they have ever seen. Or how you are so alike or so insync and how you make them feel so amazing. They will pick you up from appointments, go out of their way to make you a priority, send you sweet emails professing their emotions, pictures and generally inundate you with everything you dreamt of until you fall for them. And they can keep up the facade for awhile. As long as their is something in it for them.
I once fell for a frog like this. He was so sweet and amazing, I couldn't help but like him. I was his playboy dream girl, the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen, he wanted me so much, adored me, couldn't stand to be apart from me, called me his princess, picked me up from everywhere I had to go, took me home to his parents and showed every sign of being a prince. He brought me flowers all the time, cards, made me dinner every night and snuggled with me endlessly. He even told me he loved me first.
Girls Girls- this is what we want to hear - that love, that charm, all those sweet words and deeds. But really its just what you want to hear, its not real. "Your so wonderful, I adore you, we are so insync....these things get told so quickly. Think about it - when someone tells you this stuff a month, two or even 3 into a relationship do they really know how wonderful you are? Have you really spent enough time together to know if your really connected? No! Sometimes these frogs say this stuff within hours or days of meeting you. Beware the frog that does this- its not real.
If they think you want a normal, stable, loyal guy - they will be that. If they think you want a party boy and fun- they will be that. If they think you want an ambitious, career driven guy with a successful future they will make it seem like they are that as well. They will morph themselves into whatever person they think you want so they can get what they want....
However, once you start calling them on their bs and expecting them to show you the goods they will start to show you their frogginess. For example, if you think a frog is making money or has great career potential they will borrow and steal from others to buy you stuff to keep up that lie. They will tell you great GREAT business ideas and concepts, even help you with ideas for your career and take some classes to show their ambition but they NEVER follow through. They can't, they are only a frog who is faking to be the prince you want.
Personally, I found out everything one of my frogs had told me was a lie - he really didn't like being affectionate, he really preferred not to talk about his feelings, he had cheated on every girlfriend he ever had and had slept with ALL of their roommates, he had lived with numerous girls before me, he had no real job or money but borrowed from his parents to keep up the charade and he didn't even like cats which he pretended to at one time. I literally found this all out in 1 day after a couple of years of this lie being kept up. And boy am I glad I found out then not another 2 years later!!!
Every girl deserves to be treated like a princess. And there are real Princes out there. As a single girl its important to look beneath the surface before jumping into anything. I have been on a number of dates lately and its hillarious what these frogs do. I have had guys tell me they are single (when they are married), that they have jobs (when they really don't), that they have burgeoning careers and businesses being built - all lies. Whatever it is they think I want - thats what they tell me. So I stopped telling them what I want and just started listening. And when you really listen - you see who someone really is. Don't be charmed by people telling you stuff too soon. For they will leave just as soon as they came.
A frog isn't even worth the effort to kiss since he won't ever turn into a prince. Nowadays when I catch a lie it indicates a frog (even tho these frogs come on so strong its tempting to believe) - I just cut them loose. My favorite saying is delete my number. Its not because I'm mad or bitter. I actually don't care at all - I just don't want to have this frog around and I want him to know there is no chance of trying to jump back in so just jump on to the next girl. I prefer to wait for the real deal and I'm quite sure that when I'm ready, I will find a real prince.
