I know I don't often post items of a personal nature. Last month I had the wonderful opportunity to co-host Tattoo Magazine's Anniversary party with the uber-hot host of MTV's Headbanger's ball and Sirius Radio Octane Station, Jose Mangin.
However, Jose didn't make it into any pics. He couldn't quite compete with the competition from the gorgeous Penthouse Pet, and my very good friend, Krista Ayne.
Here we are - and if you think I look different - well, thanks. It took me a year to put myself back together after release from Rikers. We can attribute that to Pilates, Running 8k a day and a very good plastic surgeon (kidding) lol.
Eliot Spitzer has the bug. For the second time in six months he has been caught planning a come-back. First, he floated a trial baloon for his old job as Attorney General. It was more like a lead balloon. Now he is contemplating a run for the US Senate or New York State Comptroller.
As I told the New York Post yesterday, "if he runs for public office I may have to run myself to focus attention on themultiple illegal acts for which he has not been punished, his abuse of women and the SEXISM in the way he walked away scot free while I went to Rikers for four months for supplying him with ‘company”.
There is far more to tell about Eliot Spitzer, the ladies and the way he treated them. There is also far more to tell about Spitzer’s relationships with multiple New York Escort services including several of my competitors when I was in the business. I’m sure if he and I both ran these facts would come in during a spirited campaign.
Voters would get to decide whether it is fair and equitable that Spitzer broke multiple state and federal laws and avoided prosecution while I was punished for my supplying girls for Spitzer, Madoff and others. If it fair that a rich white male walked while a woman entrepenuer did hard time for a victimless crime.
I would make sure everyone remembers how Spitzer violated the public trust and at the same time I would push a REFORM agenda. Prostitution should be legalized, regulated and taxed to help solve our fiscal problems. Marijuana should also be legalized, regulated and taxed. With both, New York could balance our budget without raising taxes or cutting essential services. Gay Marriage, hamstrung in the State Senate, should be legalized as a matter of total equality.
Yes indeed, if Eliot spitzer throws his hat in the ring, I may just have to jump in the race myself. After all, how I could I do worse than the clowns we have in Albany now?
You are an accomplished and qualified woman seeking to be elected as the highest law-enforcement officer of New York County. I have attempted to pose an important public policy question to your opponent Cyrus Vance, Jr. without success. Now I wish to pose this same question to you as you seek the votes of women across Manhattan.
I supplied high price escorts for Eliot Spitzer during the time he was both Attorney General and Governor. Mr. Spitzer was good for a least one call a week for many years and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on call girls at both the agency I ran and several others. When this became public I was charged and pled guilty to the promotion of prostitution. I served four months on Rikers Island when I could not post bail which was set at $2 million dollars.
Mr. Spitzer followed the same practice he pursued with Emperor’s Club VIP – sending multiple $5,000 checks to evade the bank’s financial transfer reporting requirements – a clear violation of federal money laundering statutes. He also transported the prostitute known as Ashley Duprè across the New York, New Jersey, Delaware and Maryland state lines in violation of the Mann Act. Former New York State Supreme Court Justice Ronald Tills of Buffalo was recently prosecuted for violating the Mann Act when he imported a prostitute from Hamburg, New York to Kentucky to perform sexual services.Judge Tills was sentenced to one and a half years in prison.Why not Eliot Spitzer?
You were quoted in the New York Daily News as saying you would not accept Mr. Spitzer’s endorsement as Mr. Vance did, nor would you asked him to hold a fundraiser for you. You also told the New York Daily News that you “favored equal treatment under the law,” whatever that means. So I ask you now:
Do you think it fair and equitable that Eliot Spitzer violated multiple State and Federal laws and escaped prosecution while I was prosecuted and jailed for a victimless crime?
Is there, in this case, one set of rules for wealthy, politically connected men, and a different set of rules for average citizens who are women?
Do you think the way the court treated me compared to the way they treated Mr. Spitzer, was sexist?
Do you think Mr. Spitzer should have been prosecuted as I was or do you agree that he should pay no legal penalty for his multiple violations of the law?
Do you think it fair that Mr. Morgenthau placed my bail at $2 million for a victimless crime while those charged with armed robbery have bail placed at far less?
I have accepted responsibility for my actions and have paid a substantial price. I have no intention of ever violating the law again and am turning the page and devoting my time to being an advocate of reform of the Criminal Justice system when it discriminates against women.
I look forward to your response and hope you will respond in detail to the simple questions posed within.
I await your answers as you seek to be elected to this important office.
MANHATTAN MADAM: VANCE SHOULD TELL VOTERS WHERE HE STANDS ON SEXISM OF CALL GIRL RING BUSTS
SHOULD RICH WHITE GUYS WALK WHILE WOMEN PROVIDERS DO TIME?
Kristin Davis, the Manhattan Madam who supplied call girls for Spitzer while he was both Attorney General and Governor wants to know if Manhattan District Attorney candidate Cyrus Vance thinks it's fair that she was charged with promoting prostitution and did four months on Rikers Island while Spitzer walked away without being prosecuted.
Spitzer is hosting a fundraiser at Spitzer’s Park Avenue Apartment on Wednesday August 5th.
“Vance wants to be DA," said Davis. “ Does he think it is fair and equitable that a rich well connected white man likeSpitzer violated the law but avoided prosecution while an “up-from-nothing” entrepreneurial woman like me did hard-time on Rikers Island, much of it in solitary confinement, for my role in supplying girls to the rich and famous.”
Davis noted that Spitzer violated both Federal money laundering laws and the Mann Act in his DC tryst with hooker Ashley Duprè.“Polygamist Warren Jeffs was prosecuted for violation of the Mann Act, transporting women over state lines for sexual purposes last year- why not Eliot Spitzer?” said Davis.
Davis was slapped with $2 million in bail and was remanded to Rikers Island when she could not pay after the Feds seized all of her assets. Now out on probation, Davis has become an advocate for the legalization, regulation and taxation of prostitution while finishing her studies for an MBA. Davis previously managed a hedge fund prior to founding the most successful multi-million dollar escort service in US history.
“My prosecution and Spitzer’s pass demonstrates both the sexism and selective prosecution by the Manhattan District Attorney’s office as well as the fundamental inequities in our criminal justice system,” said Davis. Vance should be ashamed to have Spitzer’s support.”
Davis says she may hold a press conference outside the Spitzer fundraiser to confront Vance about his views on whether Spitzer should have been prosecuted like everyone else involved in the controversy. Davis also says she will seek the views of Leslie Crocker Snyder and Richard Aborn, the other candidates for DA, before the September primary.
"Voters, particularly women, have a right to know if these candidates think my treatment was fair compared to Client # 9," said Davis.
I’ve received a huge amount of press inquiries today regarding the Opie and Anthony Radio Show I was on last Wednesday morning. There are a number of blog postings out there that are incorrectly reporting the story so I am going to take a moment to set the record straight.
First, I did not NAME anyone.
I did not name Ed Rendell as “Governor X” nor did Opie, Anthony, Jimmy or anyone on air or affiliated with their station. I went on the show to promote my article on newsstands now in Penthouse’s 40th Anniversary Issue titled “The Bull (Shit) Market”. I was not there to discuss “Governor X”.
In the course of the show, I was asked some funny questions about who “Gov X” might be. They implicated roughly 4-5 governors in jest. I was sitting across the room from the team of guys being video’d the entire time for You-tube and their website.
Reports have surfaced that state I passed a “paper” to them indicating who “Gov X” is. This did not happen. Again, I was sitting across the room from them and did not leave my area. The video will be released on their website in the next few days and will show that I did not pass them a paper or leave my sitting area.
This can be verified by contacting the Program Director, Steve at steve@foundrymusic.com.
Furthermore, I laughed off their questions because frankly, I am not going to name this governor. I cannot categorically deny who it is because by process of elimination, it will come out. So, the reason I am not refuting allegations about who this person is, is because if I start doing so then we will be left with a very short list and this person will be named.
I have written about this before and have been clear about my intention to NOT NAME NAMES. I feel strongly about legalizing prostitution and naming names will only hurt the girls I am trying to lobby for. To name names would adversely affect the industry since girls will be afraid to work for agencies and put themselves in the precarious situation of working for themselves with limited knowledge on safety protocol. Clients will also be fearful of trusting agencies so it’s imperative that we maintain discretion to garner support for legalization.
I have been offered large amounts of money for my client list and have yet to sell. Its been a year since I was released on bail and if I was going to out anyone- it would have been then. If you want to pursue this story, I highly suggest you go find “Annie” and ask her about it- get it from the horse’s mouth because you’re not going to get it from mine.
I find it stunning that this nation still regards prostitution as a crime. It’s sad that we waste our cops and courts, trying to stamp it out, as if a good spin through the justice system will instill miscreants with the morals necessary to fly right. In this case, law enforcement is ineffective to the point of absurdity. Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession for a reason: it will always occur.
Denial, however, is powerful. It prevents us from viewing it as a social necessity. Consider how well prohibition is working when the very people who make and enforce the laws to ban it, also patronize it, including attorneys general, governors, and U.S. Senators!
As someone who pleaded guilty in a plea bargain for promoting prostitution, I freely acknowledge that I violated state law and for that I am both guilty and sorry. It is certainly not behavior I will engage in again. I’m out of the biz.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
It is time to discard our moral misgivings and legalize prostitution for the benefit of society. I point to the murders stemming from Craigslist as evidence enough that our current approach fails us all. We cannot prevent girls with little knowledge or protection from hooking on line and getting murdered in hotel rooms. This is a shame and a tragedy. And we assuredly cannot prevent the operation of supply and demand: men will always be willing to pay for action; ladies will always be willing to sell it.
Once we recognize these simple truths, we can release our law enforcers from the utterly useless game of catch-and-release that they now play. We can obviate another black market. We can protect the public health and fill the public coffers.
As a former madam of New York City’s most successful prostitution ring, I can tell you that prostitution will always flourish, that men of every profession and stripe will patronize it, and our failure to legitimize it only creates criminals. I say we create fewer criminals.
Consider the drastic economic picture in the Empire State and consider the effect of decriminalization. Consider emptying a jail cell in exchange for some tax revenue.
I say legalize, regulate, and tax prostitution before you cut social services or raise taxes on New Yorkers, the nation’s highest taxed citizenry.
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my release from Rikers Island. I was there for almost 4 months.
As I've written before, Rikers is a horrible place. I wouldn't wish a "stay" there on anyone, not even my worst enemy. It was July 2, 2008 that my attorney, Dan Hochheiser negotiated my bail and I was released on a $400,000 bond and an ankle bracelet to ensure I returned to court.
My parents put up their house to secure my bail. They flew from California to bail me out- the whole time not even knowing what I was doing for a living. They thought I was still VP of a Hedge Fund.
The day of my bail hearing I wrote a letter to God. I also wrote my "itinerary" for the day. I plotted out my entire day including my release and hugging my family. When I learned that I was making bail (I hadn't been able to because it was $2 million) I looked at my itinerary and I was only 15 minutes shy of what I had timed as my learning of my release. I got out shortly thereafter and pretty much followed my itinerary to within 15 minutes (the power of positive thinking).
So today I celebrate my freedom with my family. They were the only ones there for me and have stood by my side throughout this entire thing. I used to carry a letter my mother wrote me to each of my court dates and always felt like she was with me, telling me it would be ok and loving me unconditionally.
When I got out I was so happy to hug my family. It had been months since I had any human interaction. All I wanted to do was spend time with my family. And thats what Im doing today!
As I'm here in Hollywood, the news from back in NYC continues to come in. I have done my job as a Madam and protected my clients privacy. Discretion with me was always key.
However, a number of my former clients are currently fighting major legal battles. Crimes much more heinous than mine. This week another one was arrested for sexual crimes against a number of women. His bail - less than 1/4th of mine.
I feel very disturbed by this. The injustice of our legal system is appalling. My bail was $2 million dollars for a victimless crime - 2 counts on my indictment. Yet my former clients - 3 of them now- have victimized hundreds and they are allowed out on bail until they can meet the requirements.
I think this injustice needs to be addressed and I feel strongly that I should speak out. Not against all my clients but those that have victimized people. Why is it that these rich white men are allowed priviledges yet a woman like me who came from nothing sits in jail on a ridiculous bail amount?
The answer to this is that there are distinctly different rules for the rich than their are for the normal. White men with power are given priviledges while normal people are screwed. Women who choose to escort or who choose to run these businesses have power over men. And NO ONE wants to admit that sex is power-and give women the credit they deserve for making a conscious decision to view it as such and capitalize on it.
I know some of you have a misconception that hookers or escorts must come from the streets, must have been abused by a family member, have drug addictions and are forced into this industry. I will continue to tell you THIS IS NOT THE CASE. My girls were beautiful, working towards goals and choose this profession as a mean to an end.
What is ridiculous is that we as a society give the real criminals time to come up with bail while they are still in their home and we cut them slack. Its absurd that I did 4 months in RIKERS ISLAND while my other clients have devastated and ruined people's lives and they are sitting in their Park Avenue apartments eating caviar.
Its about time these issues were addressed and I'm going to make it my mission in life to do so. To make sure we stop spending tax payer money on investigating crimes like mine while people like Bernie Maddof defrauded thousands for years right under ELLIOT SPITZERS nose. Who is the real criminal here?
Feel free to email me your thoughts on this, as always, I am open to hearing them
kristin@manhattanmadam.com
I know I tend to keep this blog light- and thats done deliberately. I keep alot of my personal life out of here and I realized that many of you don't know much about "me".
I just had drinks with a new -but good-friend. He is an amazing amazing guy who is the host of a rock music station. We got to talking about hard rock, metal, and it was one of the funnest and coolest conversations I've had in awhile.
I have loved hard rock music since I was about 5. My uncle took me to my first concert which was Kiss since he went to high school with Paul. Rumor has it that I was a cute little blonde girl whom he dressed in black and put the white/black face makeup on and a complete chick magnet. I believe that created my deep and unwavoring love of heavy music.
I do like many different kinds of music. However, I truly love LOVE hard rock. I know, it seems strange since I host alot of clubs. And I do like house music but my heart remains true to rock n' roll (metal more specifically).
There are a few singers out there whose voices make me melt. They make me cry, I feel their pain and I just can't be moved that much by any other genre of music. My new friend and I were having such a great talk that I started listing my top 5 singers. I couldn't quite narrow it down but it was fun to try.
I listen to these groups and singers, whatever project they may be in, quite religiously. Here they are:
Kristins Top Singers
1. Layne Staley (Alice in Chains) - no one could ever compare to him
2. Corey Taylor (Slipknot, Stone Sour)
3. Chester Bennington (Linkin Park)
4. Zach De La Rocha (Rage Against the Machine)
5. Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust)
6. Edsel Dope (Dope)
7. Josh Todd (Buckcherry)
I have a number of announcements to make....shortly. Waiting for everything to come to fruition and things move so slowly.
Slow is actually torture to me. I'm the type of person that moves quickly. I think of an idea and I get it done asap. I never second guess myself and I never mull thiings over. Some people call that rash decision making, I call it smart. I trust myself, my intuition and I know that whatever it is I put my mind to - it will be successful. I think we spend so much time considering things that we talk ourselves out of opportunities. Or we spend so much time thinking that we change our feelings about a situation and enter into it with skepticism which results in a negative outcome.
When I opened my call center in Uruguay I made one of those rash decisions. Someone suggested opening an office there to reduce expenses, I researched it online and the next day the trip was booked. We had an office space in a week and a full phone staff in 2 1/2 weeks. It would have been sooner if Uruguay operated normally. They are still one of those countries that takes a 12-2pm siesta (gotta love that tho).
Lately, I've been working with so many different people, on different coasts, that I spend alot of my time waiting. Waiting for attorneys to coordinate conference calls, waiting for offers to be made and waiting for meetings to be scheduled. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Not very interesting huh? I will say that all the waiting is paying off big time and I'm definitely learning some more about patience. I just wished things moved quicker and I could share more with you.
I had the opportunity to hang out wtih Roger Stone today and if you don't know him, google him. He is brilliant and responsible for much of the political hijinks that is occuring right now - even the current state of affairs in the Senate. Some call him the most feared man in politics - I call him a friend! www.stonezone.com
I've been a bit behind in my blog posting this week. I had the flu for 10 days which is an insane amount of time to be sick. I literally couldn't get out of bed for 9 of those days and was a coughing, feverish mess. I'm finally better and ready to see daylight lol.
Its funny how much one takes things for granted. When I was in Rikers I saw daylight for about 1 hour a day. If that. Their was a window in each cell but it didn't really open - except for 2 inches to let in a wee amount of air. It was a darker colored glass so you couldn't see in or out. We were let out for 1 hour a day in dog kennels about 8x8 in size. It was nice to get out but torture because you couldn't do much but pace around this small area.
Now sometimes I just go sit outside on a bench or step somewhere. Its nice to take a few moments out of the day and appreciate how beautiful the outdoors can be. Even in New York City where its highrise after highrise, you can still take a walk to the waterfront and gaze at the beautiful blue sky and clear your head.
Now that I'm finally well, I'm anxious to get outside even just for a few minutes. Last year I had the luxury of living on the beach (after I got out of jail) and I have to say it was a wonderful summer. I got up every day and went for a 4 mile run on the boardwalk. I spent alot of time just laying on the sand with a book and thinking how beautiful the ocean is and how lucky I was to be out of jail. I never want to forget that feeling of appreciation. Appreciation for life, for people and for freedom.
Its important for me to live my life with appreciation because I don't want to take anything for granted. Life is too short not to live it fully and too beautiful to not appreciate what you have in your life....
I get a number of emails and thought I would take a moment to address the most frequently asked questions:
Can you give me any advice on working as an escort? NO. I am presently on probation. I can't offer any advice and ultimately - its not a matter of "if" you will get busted - its a matter of "when". So if your going to enter into this profession you need to make yourself ok with the thought of going to jail. Don't kid yourself- it can and will happen.
Do you regret what you did? NO. I do not regret the way I've lived my life. I don't have any regrets. Everything that has happened to me has helped me to grow as a person and become a better person so I value the experiences.
What are you doing now? As of right now, I am writing for Penthouse Magazine and working on my 2nd book. I am also hosting parties and DJ'ing for Hype Artist Management www.hypeartistmanagement.com. I have a wonderful film agent in California and have numerous other offers on the table. We are sorting them out and I will make some announcements in the next couple of months.
What is your stance on prostitution? I strongly believe that Prostitution should be legalized. It is not called the "oldest profession in the world" because its a new business. It has been around since the dawn of time and we need to regulate it to ensure safety and health standards are met.
How do you feel about Spitzer? I believe there are many inequities in our cases and feel strongly that he should have faced criminal charges. I think that his case only highlights the fact that there are different standards for the rich and powerful and they are not held to the same set of rules as everyone else.
Are you single? Very sweet question, yes I am single and playing the field ;)
I've been a bit slacking in my posting this week. The reason why- well, I've been inundated with things to do.
My family was recently (1 week ago) the victim of a Ponzi scheme. My grandparents, uncle and stepfather have lost their entire life savings. Here is a link to the news article:
Like a number of Ponzi schemes, this business started out as a legitimate company. The owner, John Otto, purchased leases from American Express and made a great deal of money on the interest of these loans and passed them on to his clients. Unfortunately, American Express stopped doing leases in 2003 and rather than change his business operadum, he kept right on going - offering his clients new leases and acting as if all was ok.
It wasn't. He committed suicide a week ago after the Feds started investigated. To me, it looked more like a hit because he supposedly killed himself in his car in a car parking lot. I mean, if your going to kill yourself don't you do that at home?
Anyhow, my family had 99% of their assets with this man. He targeted elderly clients who wanted a secured interest rate. What he did is despicable and now there are hundreds of people (already retired) who cannot afford to pay their mortgages or for their much needed medications.
Obviously, as we have learned from Bernie Maddof, this is not uncommon. I hope this illustrated an immense need for better governing of these investment advisors. How much money and how long can they get away with their crimes before we do something about it?
No, of course, we would rather invest millions and investigate someone like me who committed a victimless crime rather than protect our parent's and grandparents future. What is wrong with our society that we place more value on my crime than protecting the welfare of our loved ones?
We strongly need to invest in a better governing body than the SEC. The feds need to redirect their investigations to crimes where there are victims and allocate resources accordingly.
Today is Memorial Day - a holiday in which we commemorate the members of our armed services those hurt or killed in action. As I sit here enjoying the day, I have to stop and take a moment to remember those who fought for our freedom and continue to do so. Today is for them.
Last year for this holiday I was in Riker's Island. It was hot and my cell was a humid 95 degrees. I was sad, alone and miserable. At that time I had been in jail for over 2 months with no idea when I was getting out. My friends were all gone and I really had no one. My then boyfriend was out partying with his friends and didn't pick up his phone when I called. I was hysterical sitting there wondering if I would have a life when I got out. I don't think I have ever felt more alone.
Now today I am enjoying the day, the people who I share my life with because they are all amazing. I get to look out at the ocean and see a world of possibilities and all the wonderful things that are now happening in my life. It only took a horrible experience to rid me of my demons and allow me to finally move forward and experience the good things. And I am very grateful to be able to do so.
For all of you reading this, happy Memorial Day. Try to spend today with those you love and are deserving of your time. I am :)
Yesterday I went to my court ordered therapy (mandatory as part of probation) and upon entrance to the building, this guy stopped me at the elevator with "excuse me miss". I assumed I had dropped something and said "yes"....he said I just wanted to tell you that you looked nice today. I continued walking into the elevator, thanked him and pushed the button for 3rd floor.
Unfortunately, he stood half way in/half way out of the elevator. He wouldn't let the door closed and proceeded to ask me if we could be friends. I said I have a boyfriend and that would not be appropriate. Ok, I lied but I figured he would leave. He kept right on asking.
I finally said, I need to go upstairs so please move so I can make my appointment or I will be in big trouble for being late. Rather than get out of the elevator, he got in and rode up with me. He kept asking if he could have my number or if I would take his.
Finally after this question being asked 15 times (its a slow elevator) I said - why do you want to give someone your number who obviously doesn't want it? I said I have a boyfriend - you wouldn't want your girlfriend out there giving out her number would you? He didn't know what to say and asked again- idiot! I then said hey look I'm going to court ordered therapy - can you leave me alone?
The door opened and I got out for my appointment. About 5 minutes into my therapy session, the owner came in and said "my friend" came in looking for me. I said huh? She said that he came in asking for his friend - but didn't know his friends name. She had to barracade the hallway to get him to back off and go away. He had written his phone number down on a napkin and gave it to her.
The situation gets wierder- the owner recognized him from a program across the street- for stalkers!!!! So she called over and he was indeed in the program and had been arrested for stalking someone (s). Goodness!
After the session, they walked me to where I was going to make sure he wasn't waiting. What is wrong with people nowadays?
Today I had to go to the Queen's courthouse. Its been over 1 year since I was arrested and still the site of a courthouse makes me
nauseous. I think of those times sitting on the bus from Riker's, having to get up at 4:30am to be shuffled around in handcuffs to get on a 8am bus and all of the other inmates fighting, the whole thing just makes me ill.
I wish I never had to go to court again. Somehow, its a never-ending saga. I have tax court, and now civil court. This time however, I am the plaintiff- not the defendent. Part of my empowerment to rectify some of the injustices that occured while I was in jail. What people don't realize is that when your in jail - your entire life is in someone else's hands, you are at the mercy of other people because you cannot do anything for yourself. You get a whopping 21 minutes of phone time, twice a day, and you can't even begin to pay your bills and talk to your attorney with that piddly little amount of time.
While I am a smart business woman- I put my trust in numerous untrustworthy people. One of whom was a person I thought I loved. This person spent tens of thousands of dollars on credit cards while I was in jail. I added it up - he visited me roughly 14 times. He spent roughly $35k on my amex alone. That would mean he was making $2,500 per hour- most of my best girls didn't even make that much! And his visits were not worth it, I'd have rather sat there and rotted alone than have to pay for someone's love.
The other one- well my former attorney is a piece of work. He stole from my mother and left me to rot there in jail while he filed ridiculous motions he knew had no chance of winning and vacationed in St. Tropez. Gotta love that one. At least he had a nice tan in court. It was a big joke at the courthouse when after another failed motion, I would request to see him- they would say "sorry, he is out giving his press conference" and laugh....
I'm quite lucky now to have a few trustworthy people in my life. My mother- mom I love you! And my attorney Dan Hochheiser www.hochheiser.com. Without the 2 of them, I'd be lost.
Ohh and back to civil court, well I'm there now and it will be a long process. But today wasn't nearly as bad as last year. And I made a new friend at the courthouse!
Ok so I don't say this nearly as well as E40...yes, this is an E40 song. Ambassador of the Game since he is Ambassador of the Yay (Bay Area SF is frequently referred to as the yay area). Yes I support my local East Coast and beloved West Coast rappers. And heck I am Ambassador of the Game!
I have a fair amount of haters - haters being defined as those hatin' on your for what your doing which is usually better than them. And altho I write about alot of things on my blog that can seem depressing such as jail, snitches and screwovers - I'm actually doing AMAZING.
I am happier than I have been in a LONG LONG time. Despite going thru jail, I have gotten rid of all of the trash in my life. Can you imagine? Really knowing who your true friends are and getting rid of the ones who were secretly screwing you over behind your back. That in itself is power- it's the power of knowing the truth about people and its priceless.
Plus I have a best-selling book and am enjoying the experiences I am having. Just today I met with the Head of Lifetime. I mean the head of lifetime. Plus I went with a super famous film agent (my agent) and the Head of Dick Clark Productions who both have my back. I pitched the Lifetime woman who was absolutely fascinated by my story and had a GREAT meeting. I am honored just to have that experience and to have the opportunity to share myself and to meet these people.
Then, I met with the CEO of a Major Production Network who LOVED my reality show ideas. Most people pitching ideas meet with development people but this is the CEO. Who was great! Again, I feel honored just to be able to meet these people and to have them be interested in what I have to say. Its a blessing and don't think for one minute I don't appreciate it.
I am working on other projects and writing my 2nd book. I've started writing for Penthouse as well and my next article is due out in August. I'm also DJ'ing which I love and just signed to a DJ Management Company which I will be announcing quite soon.
And I am single and LOVING IT! I date (altho some are not completely honest) but I'm relishing the experience. I'm so so so happy to be out of an abusive relationship and to be around people who adore me and want to lavish me with attention. Its really where I want to be - single, exploring my options and dating people who have something going for them.
So actually I'm doing GREAT - even if I do tend to vent a bit about the past...I'm not holding onto it at all. I've left the bad behind and am not looking back.
A girlfriend and I were just talking about our dating experiences when I started reminiscing upon the old fairytale.
How many frogs must a girl kiss to find Prince Charming? All of us girls were raised thinking if we believed in the frog, that poor little underappreciated mistreated frog who wanted so much to be with us, and we kissed him-he would turn into the man of our dreams, Prince Charming.
What no one told us was that there are many frogs out there. Many frogs masquerading as Princes but at the end of the day, they are just a plain old frogs. These frogs are charming, they will lie, manipulate and play on our dreams to get us but they are not ever going to turn into a prince.
This is what I like to call the Prince Charming Syndrome. These are the guys who tell you everything you want to hear, they seem so sweet and into you, they do all sort of things for you- but they are really just a frog in Prince's clothing.
I have known many a frog. They tell you that you are the most gorgeous woman they have ever seen. Or how you are so alike or so insync and how you make them feel so amazing. They will pick you up from appointments, go out of their way to make you a priority, send you sweet emails professing their emotions, pictures and generally inundate you with everything you dreamt of until you fall for them. And they can keep up the facade for awhile. As long as their is something in it for them.
I once fell for a frog like this. He was so sweet and amazing, I couldn't help but like him. I was his playboy dream girl, the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen, he wanted me so much, adored me, couldn't stand to be apart from me, called me his princess, picked me up from everywhere I had to go, took me home to his parents and showed every sign of being a prince. He brought me flowers all the time, cards, made me dinner every night and snuggled with me endlessly. He even told me he loved me first.
Girls Girls- this is what we want to hear - that love, that charm, all those sweet words and deeds. But really its just what you want to hear, its not real. "Your so wonderful, I adore you, we are so insync....these things get told so quickly. Think about it - when someone tells you this stuff a month, two or even 3 into a relationship do they really know how wonderful you are? Have you really spent enough time together to know if your really connected? No! Sometimes these frogs say this stuff within hours or days of meeting you. Beware the frog that does this- its not real.
If they think you want a normal, stable, loyal guy - they will be that. If they think you want a party boy and fun- they will be that. If they think you want an ambitious, career driven guy with a successful future they will make it seem like they are that as well. They will morph themselves into whatever person they think you want so they can get what they want....
However, once you start calling them on their bs and expecting them to show you the goods they will start to show you their frogginess. For example, if you think a frog is making money or has great career potential they will borrow and steal from others to buy you stuff to keep up that lie. They will tell you great GREAT business ideas and concepts, even help you with ideas for your career and take some classes to show their ambition but they NEVER follow through. They can't, they are only a frog who is faking to be the prince you want.
Personally, I found out everything one of my frogs had told me was a lie - he really didn't like being affectionate, he really preferred not to talk about his feelings, he had cheated on every girlfriend he ever had and had slept with ALL of their roommates, he had lived with numerous girls before me, he had no real job or money but borrowed from his parents to keep up the charade and he didn't even like cats which he pretended to at one time. I literally found this all out in 1 day after a couple of years of this lie being kept up. And boy am I glad I found out then not another 2 years later!!!
Every girl deserves to be treated like a princess. And there are real Princes out there. As a single girl its important to look beneath the surface before jumping into anything. I have been on a number of dates lately and its hillarious what these frogs do. I have had guys tell me they are single (when they are married), that they have jobs (when they really don't), that they have burgeoning careers and businesses being built - all lies. Whatever it is they think I want - thats what they tell me. So I stopped telling them what I want and just started listening. And when you really listen - you see who someone really is. Don't be charmed by people telling you stuff too soon. For they will leave just as soon as they came.
A frog isn't even worth the effort to kiss since he won't ever turn into a prince. Nowadays when I catch a lie it indicates a frog (even tho these frogs come on so strong its tempting to believe) - I just cut them loose. My favorite saying is delete my number. Its not because I'm mad or bitter. I actually don't care at all - I just don't want to have this frog around and I want him to know there is no chance of trying to jump back in so just jump on to the next girl. I prefer to wait for the real deal and I'm quite sure that when I'm ready, I will find a real prince.
Last night I had the honor of being the guest on DJ Bedtyme's radio show on www.jamnow.com - he is Remy Ma's official DJ and a personal friend. In the studio was an amazing rapper Clap Cognac and his hot blonde manager, Gilat. You should check him out at www.myspace.com/clapcognac
We were in high hopes yesterday as we were waiting for the decision on Remy's appeal. I've said this before but Remy Ma is a good friend of mine. We met in Rikers and she was the only ONLY person to stand by my side while I was in jail. My mother and stepfather were there as well but they live in Cali so I had very little local support. Most everyone I knew in NY testified against me in secrecy and I was alone. Everyone I loved pretty much bailed when things got tough...and it broke my heart.
Even though she was a stranger, Remy was there. She would hear me crying and console me. She would hear me pacing and we would talk for hours through the hole in our cell walls. She truly has a heart of gold. I didn't know she was famous nor did I care. She was just a friend when I really needed one. And I am there for her now that she needs one. I write her, visit her and I will not leave her.
For those of you not familar with Remy's case, she was convicted of shooting her friend in May 2008. I am going to go on the record about her case - which I have yet to really do. This girl - not worth of mentioning her name- was not a friend. She was someone who saw what Remy the rapper had to offer and wanted to leech off of her. She barely knew Remy and was just a friend of a friend. She stole remy's purse after a club one night and they got into a fight. She was not killed, maimed and did NOT suffer any real wounds.
The girl did not immediately press charges. Instead she called Remy and demanded a couple million dollars. When Remy refused to pay-she pressed charges- 1 week later. The only other witness said repeatedly that he didn't see anything then changed his story (cha-chinnnng hear the sound of free money?). He was caught lying on the stand and called on it.
They went to trial and lost the case- convicted by an all-white jury. The judge did not allow them to use the defense of this being a theft and accidental shooting. why? Because Remy is a former member of terror-squad and "gangsta rapper". They wanted to make an example out of her - and they did. Despite audio of this girl trying to extort her- none of this was admissable in court. She was sentenced to 8 years - YES THATS 8 LONG YEARS for this crime.
I'm sure some of you are sitting there saying she deserved what she got. Its not our job to play judge and jury. She deserved a fair trial where her evidence and defense would be allowed. She couldn't even take the stand in her own defense- why? because she wasn't allowed to say it was an accident. So, what was miss "gansta rapper" supposed to say on the stand and in her defense?? She couldn't say anything because she was left no options for a defense.
We found out today her appeal was denied. I have been upset all day over it hoping that justice would prevail. And I still believe it will. I'm not giving up. Her fans will not give up. And her attorneys will not give up. We will take this as far as we need to, to get her out of prison. I am positive we will get her out and she will come back kicking, screaming and spittin' the sickest rhymes you've seen in a long time. FREE REMY
Yesterday I decided to go on a date. I recently met a guy, he seemed nice enough and he wanted to have dinner. Actually, he was pursuing me pretty strongly, lavishing me with compliments and sweet talk, asking to see me daily – so I decided to give him a chance. This was against my better judgment since I had an idea that he was not what he seemed.
In typical girl fashion, I asked him to come over by my house. Truthfully, I wouldn’t have gone to his place since it’s a hike and I didn’t care to go that badly. We ended up at a local Thai restaurant which I thought was a good spot for a first date. Upon arrival, he started with 20 questions as if I was on trial. He wanted to know about my past, my business, how I ran it, how I found my girls, etc etc. I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. he then told me he didn't have the job he claimed to have and worked at a nightclub my ex works at. Then, he started asking me about my ex-boyfriend because he felt like he knew him. I drew my boundary in the sand and said “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this”. I say “sand” because in this instance I found I let my boundary move around a bit when I should have drawn it in spray paint on gravel surrounded by spikes. He kept right on railroading me to tell him who my ex is. I continued with “I don’t want to discuss this” and he kept right on interrogating me.
Then he started manipulating. He started naming names of people he thought it could be. 8th name in he said my ex’s name and I cringed. He caught the look on my face like a fisherman with a marlin on the end of the line. He kept right on reeling me in asking me if it was him, surprised it was him and then saying “if you don’t tell me if its him, I’m going to call him right now and ask him”. He even got out his phone to start dialing! Woah buddy…that’s MY boundary there that you are currently crossing!!!
So I caved. I most definitely did not want this guy calling my ex so I confirmed it was him. I know I know – I should have dumped his food on him for bullying me and left immediately. I am too nice for that- however, if I had to do over again I most definitely would do just that. He started in again – telling me ALL about my ex’s new girlfriend and how they do a lot of coke together. How he hangs out with them a couple of times a week but my ex is never sober and is an alcoholic, drug addict. Then he starts telling me more about him and her –at this point, you can clearly see I’m visibly upset but he kept right on going. He tells me stories about hanging with my ex, my ex and strippers and some lovely times they had while my ex was cheating on me.
Let me stop and take a moment to say this isn’t the first time I’ve heard rumors like this since we broke up. It’s funny who tells you what when they feel “free” to do so. I’ve heard similar stories and worse from some of my ex’s best friends, from his "boys" and from girls he dated before, after and during our relationship– and while I was in jail. So I guess this shouldn’t come as a shock to me but I still don't want to hear it!
Of course as this guy is telling me this I’m wanting desperately to leave. I’m thinking of ways to run from the table and maybe go to the bathroom and never come back. i'I'm wondering if its possible to fake sick and leave. Unfortunately, it’s a small restaurant and we were in front. At that point, I asked him if we could change the subject. We would but then he would go right back to it. Finally, I said I was tired and wanted to go home.
We walked back to my house where I tried to say goodbye but he had left his umbrella and jacket inside. He came in and sat down. He wanted to watch a movie. I think I was partly in shock and partly upset with myself since I knew I didn’t want to date him anyhow so I was cursing my lack of trusting my gut instinct. I mean really- aren’t first dates where you put your best foot forward? In the course of 2 hours, he had hurt my feelings, broken cardinal rule #1 by talking about my ex, trampled my personal boundaries, insulted and manipulated me.
I sat down and very honestly said, "I’d like you to leave". He looked shocked.I said I don’t feel comfortable or good about this after you railroaded me into talking about my ex and I’d like to go to sleep now. He told me I was being inhospitable and that he was in some strange area and it was rude to kick him out at 1am. I told him I was sorry he felt that way and I wasn’t trying to be rude but after talking about my ex for an hour – I just want to be left alone. He then said – what if I tell you if you kick me out then you will never hear from me again? I said – so be it! I called him a car service and stuck him in it. It did take me a good 30 minutes to get him off my couch because he kept persisting that he had never been kicked out of a girl’s house before and I was rude and making excuses because of my ex.
I cannot believe what a putz that guy was. I mean really - did he think that would make me like him? Maybe telling me all that he thought he would make himself look good and get laid? For the record- I'm not easy, I'm picky and there is no chance I'm screwing you on a first date - not even on the second. But still - that is definitely not behavior that would make me ever want to see him again.
I just think my jeroff detector was off that day. Actually it was working fine- I ignored it and will never do so again! I would have rather had dinner alone or with Ellliot Spitzer than that guy! And that says alot...
Integrity is defined as possession of firm principles: the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles.
Despite the former business I was in, I did have integrity. I never forced my girls to do anything they didn't want to. I never made them have sex with anyone. I allowed them to set their own boundaries and control the pace of their own appointments. Meaning - if they didn't want to have sex with a client, they didn't have to as long as he was charmed and happy with their company. I never screwed anyone over for money, I helped my girl's out of evictions, obtain new apartments, get off drugs and paid for college tuitions. I loved them all and at the end of the day they all screwed me over. Well, most of them.
The people closest to me in my life testified against me in my "secret" grand jury indictment like a bunch of cowards. They couldn't even give me an anonymous head's up so I could protect myself. Everyone was in one this and I'm going to start posting some specifics on them and their wrongs pretty damn soon.
And the situation only got worse. When I was in jail I lost pretty much everything. I thought the few people left in my life had enough integrity and love for me to do the right thing. I cannot even tell you how wrong I was. They screwed me over every chance they got because they knew I was helpless to take care of myself.
I'm wondering where the integrity in this world has gone? Don't get me wrong, I choose those people and I know I made a huge mistake. I don't feel sorry for myself nor do I expect you to. Because I have such a big heart, I wore my rose colored glasses and saw the best in everyone despite who they really were.
I've since removed those glasses and see people for who they are. Which in itself can be scary because I have found few people have integrity. They lie, they cheat and they manipulate for their own selfish motives. I am now going through a lawsuit to try and rectify some of the wrongs that were done to me. And all I can say is that if those people operated with some integrity, some caring for someone other than themselves - they wouldn't be in this position now.
Its quite sad to wake up one day and realize everything you held to be a truth was a lie. The people you thought loved you just didn't. And even in the end they have the opportunity to right their wrongs but they don't. They are narcissistically selfish and their feelings are the only ones that matter. Someone I loved very much did some heinous things to me. In the end, this person only has themselves to blame and whatever the outcome is - they have to live with themselves and there are consequences to your actions. Even their own family was in on this plot and for that they should be ashamed.
Me- I'm happier now. And I'm happy justice is going to prevail. Its not personal anymore-its now business. I'd have to care for it to be personal and I don't. I've let the past go so I can have a happier future without bad people in my life.
Today I woke up to media camped outside my doorstep. Since I'm remaining silent the press has taken to congregating on my block waiting to ambush me in hopes I might pop out some phrase about Alex Rodriguez.
So, I decided to leave my area and go hide-out. Where does a former Madam, Felon and alleged A-Rod dater (alleged) go when they need to hide?? Well to the nearest courthouse of course! Who better to watch over me than those who protect and serve?
But seriously - I found myself on the subway well into Queens wandering around Kew Gardens. As I'm walking I notice I'm right in front of the courthouse. The blinking neon sign that reads "Ira Judelson Bail Bonds" would be a clear indication I'm getting closer to the felons. BTW- Ira is the man who got me out of jail on bail so he really is THE MAN. I proudly wear his tank top that says "Got Bail" in tribute to him.
As I'm walking I hear the call of salsa music (and food) and wander into Cocina Latina (www.cocinalatinany.com). This is one of the most beautiful restaurants I've ever seen. The owner really outdid himself - every inch of this place is handcrafted and gorgeous. I was greeted by the lunch crowd and as I'm taking in the scene I realize pretty much everyone here works at the courthouse. The people are friendly so in course of small talk I learn I'm sitting next to a bounty hunter, a DA and the head DA. Lovely - this is where I belong.
No one really recognized me so my hiding out lasted about 6 hours. The food was amazing and the atmosphere so nice I just didn't want to leave. And well the owner personally served me a tasting menu and is pretty attractive so that didn't hurt either. I mean the papers did say I like latin men and we all know that everything that the papers say must be true ;)
Now I need to go give my interview to AM New York. Catch it tomorrow at www.am-ny.com
